Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
