im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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