What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize