I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
