Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
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how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
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BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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