lets start a swedish sibling band together
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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