you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
