There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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