i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
3pm strippers are depressing
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
