i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
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