omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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