im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Is it because I queefed?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
