I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
