He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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