I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
