If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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