He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Your penis caused this!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize