She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize