when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
