I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
