and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
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I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
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can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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