I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
