While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
