My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
