so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
