Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
