I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
