what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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