I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
