I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
