i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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