You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
