i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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