I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Its about making memories worth repressing
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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