I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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