So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
