in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
