I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
