have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
jump out the window naked night went bad
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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