i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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