Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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