You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize