So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
