You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
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the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
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I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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