I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
we're so committed to being not committed
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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