I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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