He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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