last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
True strength comes from lack of pants
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
