theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
