Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
