1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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