Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
