Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
