If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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