Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
