I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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