weddingsv make me drug and hornr
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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