Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
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what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
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I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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