Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
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