Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
