omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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