You just made me feel so damn special
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
