I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
