it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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