Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
