Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
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I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
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He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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