i need an iv and a liver transplant
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
