Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
